The One With All The Craziness
by Darling Pretty
Summary: Too many Mc's in the McEmerald City Bar. WARNING: we're trying to make you hate us, but it's hilarious if we do say so ourselves. Flames appreciated, but we like nice comments too. DISCLAIMER: NOT OURS weeps in sorrow written by 2 awesome & bored people
1. The One With All The Mc's

"Joe," Addison groaned as she sat down at the bar. "I need something strong. Now."

"Tough night?" Joe asked sympathetically.

"You have no idea. I should have done this first. Because if I had done this first then maybe I wouldn't remember that I slept with Burke and that would make both of us. But I didn't do this first, I went and slept with Burke and probably ruined any chance I had of happiness. Joe, life hates me."

"Wait, you slept with Burke?"

"Did you not just hear me?"

"I did."

"I'm going to get drunk now," Addison announced, gulping down the drink he handed her, screwing up her face as the alcohol hit the back of her throat. Several drinks later she had clearly completed her task. "Joe," she slurred. "I need to stop sleeping with the Mc's because sleeping with the Mc's only gets me in trouble. Although, I was allowed to sleep with McDreamy, I mean, he _was_ my husband. But then I had to go and sleep with McSteamy. And get caught. How moronic am I? And then I slept with Alex. But that was a good thing. Except I screwed it up. With Burke, the drunk one. Now I just have to sleep with… with… Richard and George and then I will have worked my way through the hospital. But I'm not going to."

"Ookay, McCrazy." Joe looked a little scared.

"You did _not_ just Mc me! I have been Mc'd too many times! Derek Mc'd me, he made me McSatan, and then Alex Mc'd me, he made me I'm McHot (which _is_ true), and now I'm McCrazy too? No more Mc's! I am done with the Mc's! McSeriously."

"You did _not_ just McSeriously."

"I did. And I'm obviously still functioning. Give me another McMargarita and no one gets McHurt."

"I thought you were done with the Mc's."

"I McAm! McDamn it! I am clearly not McDrunk enough, Joe. Where's my McMargarita?"

"Haven't you had enough?" Joe asked gently.

"No. And I can't believe you Mc'd me!"

"I thought that you had to sleep with someone to be Mc'd."

"No, all you need is a McName. You know what? You need a McName. I'm pulling you into this McCraziness. You shall be…" She dragged out the word "be" as she tried to come up with a name. "McBartender! Ha, now you're Mc'd too!"

Mark walked up to the bar and sat down next to her. "Hey, Slutty McSlut Slut!"

Addison looked at Joe in amazement, "Again with the Mc's!" Then she turned to Mark, "And you did not just call me a McSlut!"

"Yeah, I did. And now it seems my work here is done so I'm going to leave before you hurt me. I mean, McHurt me. Tata!"

Addison glared at his retreating figure. "If I weren't so McDrunk right now," she informed Joe, "I would do stuff to him. McDamn, now I sound McSlutty!" She started banging her head on the bar and promptly passed out.

Joe looked at her and announced like a sports commentator, "And she is out _cold!_"

Meredith walked up to the bar. "Hey Joe. Whoa! What's wrong with Addison?"

"Well, she slept with Burke, got really drunk and then Mark…"

"That's all I need to know," Meredith interrupted him. "Mark screws up _everything_! Especially relationships!"

"McDreamy troubles?" Joe asked sympathetically.

"McDreamy became McAsshole!"

"Aww… I'm sorry, Mer," Joe said and patted her hand comfortingly.

"Yeah, me too," Mer said sadly.

"Can't say I know exactly what you're going through, but I can ease your pain…" He grabbed a bottle from the bar. "Tequila?"

"_Yes _please!" Meredith grabbed the bottle and downed half of it.

One hour and two bottles of tequila later…

Joe looked at the two passed out, drunk chicks. "Now they're _both_ out _cold_!"

Alex entered the bar (take a moment to swoon… done? Okay, now read the damn story) and looked at the two women slumped at the bar. "They're both out cold, aren't they?" It wasn't really a question, it was more a statement of the obvious.

"Yeah," Joe nodded. "They kind of are."

"I'll just take them off your hands," Alex told Joe. He picked up Meredith and slung her over his shoulder and carried her out to his car then returned for Addison. He picked her up much more gently and carried her like a big, overgrown baby. He turned back to Joe. "Thank you and goodnight!"

Hours later…

Meredith and Addison let out simultaneous groans as they awoke from their drunken comas. Alex jumped up and ran to grab some aspirin and water. He returned with enough for one of them, which he promptly handed to Addison. Then he went and grabbed some for Meredith too.

"Oh my God," Addison moaned, sprawled on her back and covering her eyes with her arm. "What happened last night?" Slowly it all came back to her. Passing out, getting very, very drunk, sleeping with Burke. "Oh shit!" she gasped as she sat up.

"What?" Alex asked as he returned with Meredith's painkillers.

Meredith saw that Addison couldn't decide what to say so she made the choice easy. She grabbed the pills, swallowed them with a sip of water and proclaimed, "She slept with Burke last night." Then she saw the death glare that Addison was sending her, so she pretended to pass out, deciding that she'd take the heat later.

"Just because we are friends," Addison told the "passed out" Meredith, "Does not mean that I can't hurt you." She slapped Meredith's arm. "I'd hurt you more but someone is trying to tap dance in my head, and they are doing a sucky job of it and they keep falling down."

"You slept with Burke?" Alex asked her seriously.

Addison looked cornered. "Well, yeah, but he… he was drunk and he doesn't even remember and it was stupid and… and… and I love _you_, doesn't that count for something?"

"I don't want to hear it."

"But-"

"No, zip it."

"Alex, I-"

"Damn it, Addison! Can't you stay quiet for one second?" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Addison started sobbing and repeating herself. "I'm sorry!"

"Look at me," Alex commanded. "Look at me," he said again when she continued to stare down. He put his hand underneath her chin to force her to do as he said. "I forgive you. It's my fault. I know that you did it because I hurt you and I know you'll never do it again, right?"

"Never!" Addison shook her head violently and winced. "But don't you want to yell at me or anything? Because you have every right to yell at me. Go ahead. Really. Yell, scream, hit something, hit _me_, I don't care. I deserve it. Please just do… something!"

"No."

"I deserve something. Anything. Seriously. You want to yell? Go ahead, yell. I really don't care. I want you to. Please," she pleaded.

Meredith, sensing that the conversation could get loud, opened her eyes and asked them, "Have you ever had a tequila hangover?"

"No, I haven't," Alex answered and Addison shook her head.

"_No_ yelling!"

"I wasn't gonna," Alex pointed out.

"But I deserve something," Addison said.

"Yeah, this," he replied and leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Too bright and shiny!" Meredith yelled and threw a pillow at them. She glared at both of them sternly. "There will be no yelling and there will be no fluff. In fact, there will be no anything. You are both leaving. Actually, Addison you can stay but you have to read, sleep, or die. I mean leave. I'm not exactly myself right now."

"When are you ever yourself?" Alex asked in his typical smart ass fashion.

"Leave!" Meredith yelled, flinging another pillow at his head.

"Leaving, leaving!" Alex replied and slammed the door. Both chicks groaned, holding their heads.

"I hate my boyfriend," Addison announced. "But I really don't," she continued, feeling the need to explain, especially after he forgave her for having sex with Burke. "Because he's amazing and perfect and I love him. And he took me back and he doesn't hate me for cheating on him and-"

"Yeah, yeah," Meredith cut her off. "We get it, he's freakin' McPerfect."

Addison raised an eyebrow. "We?"

"Yeah, me and the people who live in my head who have decided that tap dancing sounds like fun since you suggested it."

"He is McPerfect, isn't he?" Addison sighed. "And he's not gay."

"Hey! You were married to the guy for eleven years!"

"Touché. But I wasn't the one who was with him when he decided that he was gay."

Meredith glared at her. "Shut up. Just shut up."

Addison smirked. "I win."

"Nuh-uh," Meredith grunted. "We are going to finish this conversation, and I will win, but we are going to finish this conversation when my people stop tap dancing."

"I'm gonna go find Alex," Addison said.

"Yeah, that's right, just run to your McPerfect boyfriend!"

"I will."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine!" Addison said, got up, walked out of the room, and slammed the door.

"Ow!" Meredith moaned.

The door opened and Addison stuck her head in the opening. "Admit it, I win."

"No."

Addison's head disappear and the door slammed. Then it opened again and Addison's head appeared. "Just admit it, I win."

"Nope."

Addison did the same thing again. "Ow!" Meredith whined.

"Admit it."

"Fine. You win."

"Thank you. Ha! I win!" Addison looked smug and with a little smirk, closed the door quietly.


	2. A Note To The Confused

ok, so here's the scoop, my friend linda (my "mcseriously" friend) and i were beyond bored one day and this is what came of it... don't worry, all will be explained... eventually... the story has no particular order... actually, that's not true, it DOES have an order, it's just not IN said order. at the end of the story, if you can figure out what order all the chapters go in, then you get virtual cupcakes... and we also may turn this into a formal contest (prize: we'll write something you want to see written, but don't want to write yourself... don't worry, we can actually write serious, we're just better at writing randomosity) and for those of you who like formalities...

PAIRINGS: addex (there is no better couple than this, so that's that)... and from there we move on to some slash, just cuz we felt like it, Mark and Derek. and i really don't think there's going to be any others, but who knows?

DISCLAIMER: grey's anatomy is in no way ours and it's a very sad thing.

WARNING: the object of our story is kind of to make you hate us. at least that was the original intent, i'm not so sure now. now it's more of an addex story, but still... it's gonna get a little crazy. the more bored we are, the crazier we get, so if you don't like insanity, i suggest you turn around, stop reading (not necessarily in that order), and walk away. or you can keep reading and then review and tell us just how stupid we are. however, the requirement of this is that you review. and please don't review telling us that so and so would NEVER do such a thing, that's the freaking point! EVERYONE is BRILLIANTLY OOC and tis beyond amazing (but, of course, i'm a little biased). mcseriously.

so here's what i suggest... read, review, and have fun. because this is the furthest thing from serious that you'll ever come across and it's gonna be one hell of a ride, if i do say so myself.

ENJOY AND CHEERS!

-Juli (and Linda)


	3. The One With All The Craziness

**so here's a little help, this is the ACTUAL frst chapter, it's just second. and a warning: this will be the most erratically updated story ever, but i think it's worth it, if you ask me.**

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**The One With All The Craziness**

Addison walked back into the hospital for the first time in weeks. She looked around, saw that everyone was too busy with their various jobs around the hospital to notice, threw out her arms and said in a very annoyed tone, "I'm back… damn it." She thought to herself, "Why hasn't anyone noticed I'm back? You'd think someone would have noticed a BRIGHT RED HEADED woman walking into a hospital!"

Alex Karev was walking to find Mark, the head of plastics, and the bane of his existence when he noticed a certain bright red headed woman walk into the hospital. He stopped walking and just stared. Unfortunately for Karev he stopped right in Bailey's path causing the "Nazi" to run right into him. "Karev! What in God's name are you doing?! Aren't you supposed to be with Dr. Sloan in plastics?"

"Maaybe"

"Well I suggest you get there-" Karev just continued to stare at Addison.

"NOW…Karev!" Bailey yelled.

"Alright alright I'm going! No need to yell" with those parting words Karev left…but not to plastics. He ran down to where he had last seen Addison, but she wasn't there. "Damn it!" he thought, and nearly screamed out loud. Fortunately for him, he had a little more self control than that.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Addison sat waiting for the Chief to see her. "Addison?" he said as he opened his door.

"Richard!" she exclaimed as she gave him a hug. Finally, someone who had noticed she was gone.

"How was L.A.?"

"It was fine. Look, I forgot my pager at home, are there any surgeries that I need to know about?"

"Actually yes there is…there is an emergency c-section that you should scrub in on."

"Alright thanks chief. I'll go grab an intern and I'll be right on it."

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Meredith, Derek, and Mark sat in the Emerald City Bar, since it was their day off. Actually, it was Meredith and Derek's day off, Mark was just playing hooky. Derek and Mark had already had more than just a little to drink and were more than just a little tipsy. Meredith was sitting in the middle of the two and was trying desperately to ignore the looks that Derek kept sending Mark that Mark kept returning. "Um do you guys want me to move?" Meredith asked Mark and Derek.

"No!" they both nearly yelled.

"Are you sure?"

"Uh…. Yeah!"

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Meanwhile, back at the hospital…

Addison found that the "emergency" c-section wasn't really an emergency, but still went off looking for her intern. While looking for him, she bumped into Dr. Bailey. "Oh, Dr. Bailey, I was looking for Dr. Karev. Do you have any idea where he is? I'd like to snag him."

"Snag him?" Dr. Bailey asked, one brow arched.

"Snag, did I say snag? I mean shag, I mean, I meant, I need to borrow Karev, and why questioning me?!" A very flustered Addison stuttered, all of which was accompanied by wild hand gestures and a squeal at the end.

"I didn't say a word."

"Just, if you see him, tell him I'm looking for him, okay?"

"Sure thing, Addison, sure thing."

"Was there the tiniest bit of resentment in that comment?"

"Nope. You'll _know_ when I resent you."

"Oh, okay." And with that parting comment Addison went off in search of Karev. Who was coming around the corner at the same exact time as she was coming around it the other way. So of course the inevitable happened and they bumped head on into each other. Both of them went sprawling out onto the floor.

"Ow!" Addison whined as Alex got up to help her up. "I'm fine damn it! I can help my own self up off of the God damn floor!...I mean of course you can help me…uh…thanks…yeah that."

"Uh… okay… are you okay?"

"Like I said, I'm fine! Okay, so, you're my intern, I need you in two hours, see me then, okay, bye!" Addison waved to him and ran off as fast as her Prada shoes would carry her, leaving a very confused Alex in her midst.

Dr. Bailey turned the corner and saw him standing there. "Dr. Karev, Dr. Montgomery was looking for you. She said something about wanting to snag you or shag you or something."

"Wha-what?"

"I don't know, but she got really flustered when she was saying it. Anyways, just find her."

"Yeah, I, um, I just ran into her, but I'll go find her again," Alex said, wanting to find out what the story behind the "snagging/shagging" thing was.

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**sooooo... reviews?**

**-Juli and Linda**


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